I continue to think about this subject. Unforgiveness is one of the major hindrances that can hinder your healing. Listen to what Jesus says in Mark 11:25-26. "And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him and [let it drop](leave it, let it go), in order that your Father who is in heaven may also forgive you your [own] failings and shortcomings and let them drop. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your failings and shortcomings." Happy New Year 2011, I still think this an important message! A quote by Author: Tami Hoag 2007... What purpose does it serve to hold that anger? What good does it do? Hatred is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die of it."

An Opinion... Isn't it amazing that almost everyone has an opinion to offer about the bible (as well as other subjects), and yet so few have studied it (or the subject)? R. C. Sproul, If only one would read before speaking, they would not look so foolish. Yet, I don't want to get in anyone's face... so I keep dropping hints. Does it help? I hope so...)

Monday, October 11, 2010

Monday, 10/11, my doctor's appointment...

This past weekend seemed long.  As well as visiting with family, I spent a great amount of time sleeping.  Since I was anxious for this doctor's appointment, taking naps seemed good for me to pass the time.  It was difficult to fall asleep with my brain not wanting to shut down, but somehow I managed it.   Getting up this morning to dress for the trip, my thoughts again turned to prayer.   I have been asking not only for healing, but peace of mind, positive attitude, and thankful for whatever blessings I can find in the silver lining of my cloud.  

The doctor was in a very personable mood this morning, which relaxed me right off the bat.  It was nice to have my son James, his wife BeeAnna and my sister Gloria in the room with me today.  Also, the phone calls, text messages and emails wishing me well were comforting to receive.

Note the picture on the left.  In the space within the renal artery, vein, right kidney area is a mass.

The biopsy report stated that I have Lymphoma in the mass that is entwined with a lymph node and the arteries in the renal area.  The doctor is going to ask John Hopkins for a third opinion regarding this mass.  Surgery to remove the mass from this location is too risky.  At this point I do not know what stage my cancer is in, just that it is inoperable.  Correction:  Surgery could be performed, but....  So, once the third opinion is in, I will begin appointments with an Oncologist where radiation and chemotherapy will be addressed.  After thinking about my appointment last night, Gloria and I realized that  the doctor did not say whether the Lymphoma was Hodgkin's or Non Hodgkin's.  If I have to have cancer... I left today with good feelings about the type of cancer I "may" have (Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma), and that good results are possible with radiation and/or chemotherapy alone.  I will find out Friday, 10/15 what John Hopkins has to say. 

To my surprise, the mass within my kidney is being addressed again.  It seems that this could possibly be another form of cancer.  A biopsy is being ordered for the kidney itself.  The target date for that procedure is 10/19.  My doctor explained that there were approximately three options for this biopsy.  Those options range from minimally invasive to surgery.   Plan A is to go up through the uretha, bladder, ureters, and into the kidney to obtain a sample for biopsy. 

I want to clarify my being anxious is not the same as fear.  More, it is a feeling of impatience... just get this done!  My personality looks ahead and plans life, while trying to have some flexibility.  It has never been my strong point to plan for today (only) and not have something to look forward to.  This is another learning experience for me.  I guess I look at anticipation like waiting for a surprise birthday party, and think you have been forgotten.  Or, if you know about the party, wondering if anyone will show up.  My thoughts are "let's just get this show on the road."

What was my blessing you may ask... it was there in the silver lining of my cloud.  I felt at peace, not afraid, I had support with me, and the type of cancer (hopfully Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma) is the least serious of all the types that I could have.  No, it's not good to have any type of cancer.  But, having Lymphoma is the better option.  I am continuing to pray for the mass in my kidney to be of the same type, all being treatable with some good success. 

Now I am reading on T cells, B cells, slow growing vs aggressive cancer and how it all responds to treatments.

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