I continue to think about this subject. Unforgiveness is one of the major hindrances that can hinder your healing. Listen to what Jesus says in Mark 11:25-26. "And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him and [let it drop](leave it, let it go), in order that your Father who is in heaven may also forgive you your [own] failings and shortcomings and let them drop. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your failings and shortcomings." Happy New Year 2011, I still think this an important message! A quote by Author: Tami Hoag 2007... What purpose does it serve to hold that anger? What good does it do? Hatred is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die of it."

An Opinion... Isn't it amazing that almost everyone has an opinion to offer about the bible (as well as other subjects), and yet so few have studied it (or the subject)? R. C. Sproul, If only one would read before speaking, they would not look so foolish. Yet, I don't want to get in anyone's face... so I keep dropping hints. Does it help? I hope so...)

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Already, it is August 2nd...

Another month has gone by!  The heat of summer is upon us! 

First of all, let me tell you of my Oncologist appointment yesterday, Monday, 08/01.  My GFR number, which tells me whether or not the right kidney is functioning properly was down.  Last month (June) the number was above >60, which is where the doctor wants it.  Also, my WBC (white blood cell) count was good.  This month (ending in July), one month without chemo, my GFR is down to 49, and the WBC count is not bad, but low enough for certain contributors to this count to either be low enough to be off the chart (not good), or high enough to be off the chart (not good).  The doctor cheerfully said, "not bad Marie, I have seen your numbers  much worse."  But, he also said... "how have you been enjoying the summer off of chemo? ...and, we'll go with another month without of chemo."  What!  I thought chemo was done, finished, kaput.  Next, he says that mid September I am going to have another contrast scan, which includes the entire torso.  He doesn't like doing the contrast scans as the chemicals additionally inhibit my kidney function.

On the bright side, my glucose numbers are remaining good .  Of course that has been dependent on my not being on chemo, as well as diet, insulin and chia seed.  Yes, I am still taking one teaspoon of chia seed before each meal and main snack.  That makes five times a day I take one teaspoon chia with a glass of water.  When I do not take the chia seed, my numbers go up.  I have been reducing my insulin intake daily by one unit a.m./p.m. making it 2 units each day.  I am down to 22 units in a.m. and 22 units in p.m.  Of course, if I have to begin chemo again, all of this will change.

My application for a senior, low income apartment was approved.  The apartment office manager said that I was not considered low low income, just low income.  The apartments are small, but it will put me back in Kennewick closer to the doctors.  The drive is tiresome, expensive, and when I don't feel well... long.  In fact, I got the feeling from listening to my doctor on Monday, he has been waiting for my move back to Kennewick to make treatment decisions.  He knows my money situation, and understands that each time he asks me to come into town what my costs end up being.  The doctor understands the stress of being long distance... time, money, living out of a suitcase, etc.  He does not want me under stress.  He even volunteered to call the apartment complex to ensure they know that I need an apartment that faces out and not into another apartment because of my claustrophobia.  Gloria (sister) looked up causes of my poor (but could be worse) numbers, and stress was a definate contributing factor!

I also talked to the business side of the hospital.  My insurance, Group Health, contracted with Medicare, has still not paid on any of my chemo treatments.  They date back to December, 2010!  I was assured that they would not cut off treatment, and would look into it themselves and let me know. 

This month I am going to California with my ex and friend Junior.  Since we met in high school, and came from the same home town, he offered to take me to the 45th class reunion.  An added plus is that we are still friends, both his and my families still live in Santa Rosa, and then we can stop and see our daughter and her family together in San Jose on the way home. 

Now, I am going to kick back for the rest of today, and begin a new project in the morning.  I am going to get up early, before the heat, and begin sanding and painting my bed frame before the move.  I still tire very easily, so it takes me a lot longer to accomplish what I did "before" cancer.  As long as I have something to tie around my head to stop the dripping sweat, a wet cloth around my neck, something to drink and somewhere to sit and pace myself... I am good to go. 

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